5 Things I Did to Slow Down My Fight or Flight Response
I want to talk about something I don't think people discuss enough: what it actually feels like when your nervous system is in a constant state of emergency.
The kind of stress where I could feel the tension and the weight of betrayal radiating off my body. It felt like an elephant stomping on my chest every single day. And for some reason I never reached out for help. I just kept enduring it, month after month, until finally after a year of carrying it alone I went to see my doctor. My body had been screaming the whole time.
I went through a season of life that broke me open in ways I did not see coming. I was navigating a devastating heartbreak, the kind rooted in deep betrayal. I was hospitalized for COVID and pneumonia and nearly died in the hospital. After being released from the hospital my job fired me refusing the vaccine. Long term friendships I had poured years into quietly fell away. I was in a serious car accident that left me sleeping on my tile floor for three months straight because of a herniated disc, and somehow I was experiencing all of this at the same time, while also dealing with things I won't fully get into here.
I got through all of it unmedicated. Raw. And while I want to be very clear that I am not recommending that path for anyone else, I do want to share what helped me slow my nervous system down when everything felt like it was on fire.
What I cannot stress enough is how critical it was that I pulled myself out of it, no matter how uncomfortable it felt to force myself into new routines. You have to hold your own hand and drag yourself out. You cannot sit inside of pain like that for too long. It will deteriorate your memory, your mental health, and your sense of self if you do not stand up for yourself. The longer you stay, the longer it takes to come back. Show up for yourself even when every part of you is resisting it.
If you are going through anything even remotely like what I went through, please consider reaching out to a professional. I gained 40 pounds during that period from sheer, sustained stress. I still remember what it felt like. Please don't let your body carry what your mind doesn't have to carry alone.
Here are five things I actually did that made a difference.
1. I Replaced Coffee With Tea
This sounds simple, and it is. But the impact was immediate.
Coffee keeps your cortisol elevated. When you are already in a chronic stress response, that last thing your body needs is more stimulation. I cut it out completely and switched to calming teas, butterfly pea tea was my favorite at the time along with rose bud teas, chamomile, passionflower, tulsi, anything that worked with my nervous system instead of against it.
My heart rate noticeably settled. It was one of the smallest swaps that made one of the biggest differences.
2. I Changed What I Listened to in the Morning
My commute used to be loud music at full volume, bass hitting, adrenaline climbing before I even got to work. I switched to podcasts on the way in and noticed how much calmer I arrived.
The morning is when your cortisol naturally peaks. Starting it with high energy, high stimulation sound tells your brain the day is already urgent. Switching to something conversational and slower gave my nervous system a chance to warm up instead of spike.
It's a small shift in your environment, but your environment shapes your body chemistry more than most people realize.
3. I Started Attending Sound Baths
Sound healing became one of my most consistent anchors during this time.
There is something that happens in your body when you are submerged in the frequencies of singing bowls. It is not just relaxation. It is a literal shift in your physical state. My thoughts would slow, the noise in my head would quiet, and I would walk out feeling like my nervous system had been wrung out and reset.
If you have never been to a sound bath, I genuinely encourage you to try one before you write it off. The science around sound and the vagus nerve is real, and the experience will speak for itself. If you dont know where to look for these, I found sound baths through the Eventbrite app.
4. Hot Yoga and Workout Routines
I joined ClassPass and committed to a workout class at least three times a week. Working out consistently, whether that was yoga, walks, cycling, or lifting, gave my fight or flight response a healthy outlet and helped my body feel regulated.
My two favorites at the time were hot yoga, and lifting weights. I want to speak directly to the women reading this, because when I mentioned this, several women shut it down completely. Lifting weights will not make you “look like a man.” It could potentially, if you are lifting extremely heavy, but pick a weight that feels good and is not strenuous. What it will do is tone your body, regulate your mood, and give you somewhere to put all that nervous energy that has nowhere else to go. It became one of the most empowering parts of my routine.
Hot yoga brought something different. I also want to mention that the first hot yoga class I attended, I immediately hated it. I thought, how do people take these classes? I was convinced they were insane. But looking back, I was dehydrated going in. I had been drinking the night before and barely had any water the day of class. I went back after months of thinking I hated it and gave it another shot, this time during a period where I genuinely needed healing. I was not hungover, and I drank at least half a gallon of water before I walked in, and I fell in love with it. The heat forces you into your body and out of your head. It is impossible to spiral in a room that is 105 degrees while holding warrior two pose lol. The breathwork alone began to rewire how I responded to stress in real time.
5. I Cut Out Substances and Protected My Energy
I want to talk about something I rarely see mentioned in wellness spaces: I gave up alcohol during this time. For a while I stopped drinking and avoided anything that altered my state. I am a believer in spiritual attacks, and what I was going through during this season…I am almost certain I was in one. But that is a story for another post. What I will say is this: alcohol and substances lower your aura and weaken your energetic security system. They create an opening that makes you far more vulnerable to spiritual attacks than you would be otherwise. Beyond the spiritual side, not drinking gave me something I desperately needed during this time, which was clarity. I was no longer facing painful situations through a fog. I had actual control over my emotions and my actions. I could respond instead of react. I could feel what was real instead of numbing it and letting it fester underneath. Giving that up, even temporarily, was one of the most grounding decisions I made.
After I got through that period I did go back to drinking and partying for a season. But eventually I realized it just was not enjoyable anymore. I do not like how it makes me feel. I do not like how it completely kills my creative spark. I don't like how it takes me “seven business days” to do anything with myself other than lay around and scroll on my phone. So to this day I genuinely do not drink. Not because I am holding myself to some rigid rule, but because I simply do not want to. That shift alone told me everything about how much I had changed.
I Built a Home Environment That Calmed My Nervous System
This one is less about a single habit and more about an intentional atmosphere I created for myself.
I kept a month's worth of sticky notes on my bedroom wall with tasks that kept me occupied after work. A workout planned, a reminder to drink at least half a gallon of water, and an hour set aside to read a book of my choice. The sticky notes were a fun way to physically feel like I was checking something off a list. They also kept me accountable and gave me something to return to instead of falling back into unhealthy routines.
I burned incense when I was home. I kept meditation music playing softly in the background as white noise that actually had a calming effect. I set one hour timers to read a physical book whether my mind was cooperating or not. I would also use apps that had the digital version if I could not concentrate on the story at the moment. But what I gathered after creating this in my routine it was easy to read the book if it was in a topic that I found fascinating. I personally love books on mythology or self discovery. I showed up for myself and got lost in a story.
Physical reading is genuinely one of the best things you can do for your brain. I was not a reader before this period of my life. I became one because of it. There is something about holding a book, turning a page, and following a story that gives your prefrontal cortex something to do besides rehearse your worst moments.
A Final Note...
Your body keeps the score. The stress I was carrying showed up in my weight, in my ribs aching from my heart pounding, in the way tension radiated off me in waves I could FEEL.
You do not have to white knuckle through it the way I did.
If you are in a season like the one I survived, please get support. A therapist, a doctor, a somatic practitioner, whoever can help you process what your body is holding. These five things helped me survive and eventually find my footing. But professional support would have helped me heal faster and hurt less along the way.
You are worth that.
Products that helped me..
These are products I actually bought and leaned on during one of the hardest seasons of my life. Nothing recommended for the sake of it, only things that genuinely helped me. Some links on this page are trusted affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to shop through them.
SOUND HEALING
Crystal Singing Bowl Set
I love using these during moments where I need to slow down, reset, or reconnect with myself a little more deeply. The sounds are calming and instantly shift the energy of my space.
SOUND HEALING
cRYSTAL hARP
I love my crystal harp so much. The sound is angelic, pretty and calming and I can instantly feel a shift in the energy around me when I play it. It genuinely sounds like floating through pink clouds and crystal castles in another dimension.
BOOKS
Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza
This was the first book I picked up during this time and it completely redirected my mental state. I was not the same after reading it.
HOME GOODS
Incense Set
Here are some of the incense that I used. Personally my favorite are Dragons Blood and Frankincense by this brand.
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